With grateful hearts, we share our thoughts on redemption through Jesus Christ and His saving blood and what it looks like in our daily walk.

We gladly welcome your comments and input.
AND since we hold our conservative values dear, we might have a thing or two to say about politics... and we can almost guarantee it won't be politically correct.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters

There were never such devoted sisters
All kinds of weather
We stick together
The same in the rain or sun
Two diff'rent faces
But in tight places
We think and we act as one

When we are together sometimes we will break out in song belting out the first few lines of the famous "Sisters" tune from White Christmas. Although, truth be told, it isn’t how things are in our case.

From my earliest memories of childhood we didn’t really get along famously. She is younger by four years. We have an older brother and a younger brother between her and me.
We shared a room growing up. It was a small room in a small house with 4 children and two parents.

Early on it was clear we had opposite personalities.
She: a night person. Me: a morning person.
She: a bit on the relaxed side with personal belongings. Me: a bit on the OCD side.
She: easily offended. Me: THE offender.
She: a picky eater. Me: ate anything and everything.
And on it goes.

Because of our age difference we had separate friends, separate schools, separate interests.

We grew up bickering and arguing most of the time. Me being a bit overbearing and having no patience whatsoever with any faults I readily pointed out as belonging to her.

Once we became young adults and began having our own families much of our childhood tensions seemed to meld away. Not too surprisingly we both started having families young and we really needed each other at that point in life. We shared in babysitting, day time outings, recipes, family holidays and so on. Now I’m not saying it was always a piece of cake but our relationship dramatically changed for the better.

Somewhere in that young adult timeline we both gave our hearts and lives to our Lord and began following His teachings as well. This upped the ante in our ability to get along by leaps and bounds – at least from my perspective. She was always a little more spiritual than me… which wasn’t hard since I was a zero on the spiritual scale during my teen/late teen years.

Somehow after her six children and my three and a couple of decades of child rearing, church going (some years the same church- some years not) and umpteen holidays had passed… we drifted our separate ways again. It never became a thing of arguing or bickering or outward disapproval as when we were children. No, this was just a gradual disconnect.

One obvious thing was when she literally moved to another state. When that happened eight years ago, we stopped keeping up with each other’s daily lives due to varying life-circumstances. Bottom line is we stopped working at our relationship. We stopped making efforts to work through our differences as well as our distance.

Three years ago I visited her home in TN for the first time since she left. We had a blast. We almost instantly reconnected as if we hadn’t skipped all those years of hardly talking in between.
There’s just something about a sister. No relationship can take its place. There is no other relationship like it. Sisters are bonded together by an indescribable connection that isn’t easily defined.

My sister visited with me in my home this week. No children, no husband, just her. We couldn’t remember if that had ever happened in all our adult life but we didn’t waste too much time trying to figure it out. We stayed up late at night drinking coffee and talking into the morning hours (still not a night person but I managed). We lit candles on the back lanai and talked some more. We floated around in the pool for hours still talking. We woke up talking and laughing and remembering and sharing from our deepest places… as if all the years of forgetting to call and not bothering to call ever made our hearts for each other skip a beat.

She left yesterday and I find myself wondering how she is doing. I imagine what she might be doing knowing she was on a day trip to Sea World. How silly. For too many months I have not even bothered to pick up the phone and give her a quick call prior to this week.

Relationships take work. Once she goes back to her home, I will have to make a valiant effort to stay in touch. It will help to remind myself of the great time we had while she was here. Because for some reason I get busy with my life and the relationships I have in front of me every day and I forget to call. Then time passes and I think I will be on the phone too long so I’ll do it later. The list of excuses is long.

Most of all, I’ll remind myself that even though our lives have taken some different and unexpected turns over the years, I love her. I love her creativity, her intense emotions, her “quirkiness” as she would say, her sensitive heart, her willingness to hold onto God in the toughest of life's circumstances.
She is my sister and I don’t have another.


mlm said...

That is the best post EVER! I cried, I smiled, I LOVED IT! Thanks for sharing, Meems! Your sister is lovely...and your stories of having one make me wonder if my life would be drastically better if I did too. :o)

mjm said...

I totally agree with mlm...I'm wondering what life would be like if I had a sister. But both mlm and I are stuck in between boys. I do have two wonderful sister-in-laws with one being the closest thing to a sister that I have ever had.

It takes a lot of work to stay in touch with your siblings when you are all adults. Everyone has their own lives and if your not careful your paths rarely cross.

Thanks for sharing meems...I think I might give that little brother a call just to say hey and see how things are going.

Rach said...

I was very VERY touched by your heart-felt post about you and your sister, my mom. WOW, I must admit I cried too. I know your relationship w/ mom means so much to her. She has expressed how she has felt the absence of you in her life in the last few years. I am so excited that you and her had such a great time over the last week.
I also am soooo thankful for my sister. She is so different than me but as we have grown older I think we have learned to appreciate each other more. I feel like I can never quite communicate to her how much I love her and admire her and how much her friendship means to me.

pilgrim said...

Reunions are great! They help us put things into perspective like nothing else. We take time out to 'reconnect', reminisce, and reestablish something valuable from our past and for our future. Especially, family & sibling relationships.

I recently had a visit from my sister & brother in my home. We had not been together in over 45 years. We laughed and argued over random memories that we all recalled in a different way. We shared some incidents never before brought to light among us. We healed a broken, neglected, vital part of our lives. We promised it will be sooner rather than later that we will do it again. Time has a way of escaping you without your paying attention to its brevity. We have shortened the time we have left together on this earth, and we need to make up for something almost lost to us.

Thanks for sharing a peek inside your reunion. I am so happy/proud of my two girls. I always hoped you would see past the differences to the preciousness of your similarities. Love you both!

Meems said...

mlm: Thanks. Too bad we can't order up our siblings! I think God knew there was only room for one more female in your group. :-)

mjm: SIL's and DIL's make for good extended family and don't you think God can use them to add so much depth to our lives?

Raaaaach! Welcome. Didn't know you wuz' readin'. So glad you peeked in on us. It's good when we learn to celebrate our similar qualities rather than concentrate on the differences. You and your sister have much to celebrate. I love you both!

Pilgrim: It was really fun to meet up with your fam too. It is amazing how long it took you guys to get together and I know you were all enriched for it. I DO hope you don't wait so long to do it again.

marmee said...

i almost feel intimidated to make a comment, that was an amazing post of which i am truly humbled by the thought provoking comments.

but wait that has probably been some of the issues meems spoke of ...

i have always been a bit intimidated by my sister, it is hard to stand up in the face of such an incredible woman, sister, daughter, mother, wife, woman of God

she is good if not brillant at everything she puts her hand to.
i have always felt like i could never measure up. but being here this past week has been a very revealing, eye opening time at least for me.

i have come to understand that she has never put me...

go to:
to finish reading this!

garden girl said...

Meems, what a lovely tribute to your sister and your relationship with her.

My sister and I fought like cats, scratching and pulling each other's hair when we were kids sharing a tiny bedroom in a tiny house with our parents and three brothers. If someone had told us then that one day we'd be the best of friends, I'd have thought they were nuts.

In many ways we're opposites, while we also share some traits and share the values we were raised with.

We've been the best of friends all our adult lives, and I'm so grateful to have her in my life. The unconditional love and mutual support we've shared through life's ups and downs can't be measured. We've learned from each other and shared so much. I can't imagine life without her. I'm blessed to have such a beautiful soul in my life.

Meems said...

marmee: Gee, what a lot of wonderful words. I'm so glad you came and enjoyed your visit.It was my hope you would be able to relax and rest for a few days. I had no idea I would also relax as much as I did with you... so it was a treat for me as well. Let's do it again before another 4 years okay?

garden girl: Thanks for making your way over to my "other blog"... what a nice surprise.

You had the whole lots of siblings and tiny house thing going on too. It makes for some wonderful memories and some not so wonderful memories. :-) Having a sister is truly a blessing. It's good to hear how you and your sister have shared closeness and friendship in your adult lives.

The relationship with my sister is a treasure I hold dear and one that cannot be replaced by any other.